Pointless Life Ambition No. 34

To rewrite the Allen Ginsberg classic "Howl" in the style of Ogden Nash:

I saw the best minds of my generation
Destroyed by madness (nonsensical negation)
Starving, hysterical, unclothed completely
Dragging through darkened streets ever so weakly
At dawn they looked for an angry fix
Among the hodlums and girls that turn tricks
Angelheaded hipsters in search of connection
To the starry dynamo of night's machination...

Pointless Life Ambition No. 33

To emigrate to Canada. And start following the Blue Jays.

Guess I'll have to start working harder on my French.

Pointless Life Ambition No. 32

To memorize the entire DSM-IV, so I can not only diagnose my friends' psychological madadies, but also offer helpful page references.

Pointless Life Ambition No. 1 - UPDATE

I've found myself a log (Western Red Cedar). Still having trouble locating an eagle. Remaining positive.

Pointless Life Ambition No. 31

To write the best darn villanelle about the just how much it hurts to lose someone close that you ever read.

(Although it would be pretty tough to beat this one.)

Pointless Life Ambition No. 30

To take part in the gruelling Iditerod race with my team of trusty animal companions.

Pointless Life Ambition No. 29

To invent a new and popular diet involving rockmelon and become ridiculously wealthy through the book sales.

I like rockmelon.

Pointless Poetry - submission 1 **new feature**

------The longer you live
------The more people you let down -
--------Lift operator

Pointless Life Ambition No. 28

To find the guy that made all this possible and shake his hand.

Pointless Life Ambition No. 27

To learn to finish a sentence without distracting mys... hey, are you reading this or not?

Pointless Life Ambition No. 26

To finish a conversation with the words, "...and that, sir, is how I stumbled across all those unclaimed millions of dollars while out walking with my dog."

Though I suppose I will have to get myself a dog first.

Pointless Observation No. 1 **new feature**

Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. It's called "freedom of expression" (pity it doesn't hold up everywhere).

Pointless Life Ambition No. 25

To claim victory; and, indeed, a righteous sense of accomplishment - inasmuch as an accomplishment such as the one to which I refer may be considered a victory (for what man, even among the most modest and unassuming of us, would not take some small pride in achieving what should rightly be considered no small triumph, a tribute to his dexterous mental facility; and in such success, a measure of satisfaction in the recognition and acknowledgement of his peers), though of however little consequence it may prove to be in the grand course of one’s life – in being awarded the inaugural Henry James Award, being in recognition of fabrication of the most verbose, the most labyrinthine, and – of course – the longest single sentence to appear in a weblog in the year in which it is awarded.

Pointless Distraction No. 2

Ah Yes, Medical School. This has to be the funniest health-related thing I've seen since Scrubs. Having married into a family predominantly made up of health professionals, it's nice to see one (well, one-in-the-making) who possesses a sense of humour and basic conversational skills. Visit the Fake Doctor and laugh your House off.

Pointless Life Ambition No. 24

To not be remembered as an apologist for the excesses of Daryl Hall and John Oates.

Although their 1981 album, Private Eyes was kinda cool, in a "white-boy soul" sort of way. And H2O featured some exceptional tracks, like "One on One" and the guys' take on Mike Oldfield's "Family Man". Oh, and Big Bam Boom - with songs like "Out of Touch" and "Some Things are Better Left Unsaid" - would have to be their greatest musical achievement -

I should stop now.

Pointless Life Ambition No. 23

To be a hero to my valet.

Pointless Life Ambition No. 22

To retire to the country and breed racing trout. I had a racing trout once; called him Blinky, becuase he couldn't.